What have you learned from having your heart broken?

I learned that hearing your husband tell you over the phone that he wants a divorce and has someone else hurts just like a knife were actually stabbing you in the heart.

I learned that crying can last unabated for as much as three days, night and day and make one so weak that they think they will die of it.

I learned that  sometimes, maybe always the things that  happen to us can be used for our good even though at the time we can not possibly imagine that good can come from  things we consider so bad.

I learned that I had placed all my happiness in the hands of another, not in my own hands where it should have been placed.  Had I known better I would not have made my husband my whole world.  I don't think that it is a healthy thing to do.

I learned that one can pick up the pieces of their heart and put it back together but it is sometimes a slow and painful process, though it does not have to be for if I knew then what I know now, I would have had less difficulty. 

I learned that if one truly loves their partner and that partner wishes  to leave, that we should let them and not want to keep them in our lives if they can't be happy with us.   (this was a hard lesson)

I learned that if you throw a pity party for yourself, not many people will come to your party to join you there.

I learned that drinking a lot of beer to dull the pain is a bad way to handle a problem.

I learned that I could make a living and raise my children.

I learned that  some men are very bad about paying child support.

I learned  that raising kids by yourself is difficult.

I learned how to economize.

I learned that seeking love making  from  another in order to assure yourself that you are still lovable, is just more self doubt and there are many men who only want sex and have no concern for your well being but their own satisfaction.

I learned how to be alone and not feel so bad about not having someone in my life other than my kids. 

I learned after many years, that even if I could have my X back, I would not want him back.

I learned that if you wish another woman would get fatter and be unpleasing to your X, that same thing can happen to you because what your wish for another happens to yourself as well. 

I learned that not having a husband, and much aloneness can get a person into closer communion with God.  

I learned that it was good not to turn your children against your X which is something I never did. Thank goodness I knew better than to hurt the children further. 

I learned to get over the thought that to live with someone without the benefit of marriage, was not a terrible sin, though it made me the black sheep of my family (sisters) . I learned how to get over their dissappointment and judgment of me.

I learned that the difficulties I had making ends meet and not having a lot while my kids were young, their quitting school before graduation and all, did not stop them from turning out good and making a good living for themselves and finding happiness in their marriages.  They are actually more appreciative of things and more determined to make their marriages work.

I learned how to love myself more and honor my own self.

I learned to trust the syncronicities that led me to finding the one I lived with and finally married after 8 years of being together. 

Now a days I am learning that I am a good grandmother and I am getting to see my grandchildren grow up and be a nanny to them. 

I am learning that I am someone who does not want to have a lot of possessions. 

I am learning now that my second husband has passed on that grieving was not a problem when he died for I had a kind of strength developed in me that helped me see that death is not the disaster that a lot of people think of it as being. 

I learned that I have become someone who is so particular now, so set in my way of life and my views of things, that I doubt that I would ever marry again for I would not want to change me for anyone.  Unless, I find a kindred spirit.    ....